i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
