some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
the liver wants what the liver wants
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
