yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
