Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize