Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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