Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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