i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
