White coat. Heels.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
