That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
