Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
