? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
