Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
