...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
