i'm lost and i look like a hooker
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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