What did we do last night that was yellow?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
