she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
