Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
