dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize