just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The air was thick with penises
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
