I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
