mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
