Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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