Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My liver just had a heart attack.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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