is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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