Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We had to coat check the pizza.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
