When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
