How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
