Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
