so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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