what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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