I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
