Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
