Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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