god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
we're so committed to being not committed
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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