u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
