do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Sorry my hands just texted you
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
