Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize