I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you win again, gameday.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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