well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
