This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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