Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wannas sexs uuuuu
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
