he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh god it's open bar.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
