I didn't shave. On purpose
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
