she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
