There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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