The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize