Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
