I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
