I need help removing her.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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