That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
