You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
