You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
