i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
