Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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