I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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