So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
