: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
