Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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