Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
well you can't waste a boner
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
