There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize