Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
