oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
