gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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