The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
