loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize