people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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